It is raining badly and the roof is leaking. But I regained my ability to talk. It feels good to be able to express yourself and not to struggle to do so with the blink of your eyes or the nod of your head which hurts. It is is not back to normal because I physically hurt but at least, the very least I am back in the peace of quiet of my home and have a sense for a while to not be a bother to anyone.

My latest book was released yesterday. I got the news from my partner in the car back from hospital from another seizure, or fit or whatever they want to call it. To be honest, I lost the will to even bother about my health, I fall, I fall, I hurt, I hurt, I have crushing chest pain, I have crushing chest pain, my heart is doing a tango which is fast and hurting, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter any longer. I live in pain and that is all there is to it. If someone cares all the better, I get a little bit of faith in humanity again, if someone does treat me as a number or will be happy to see me go out of their way without really caring, I will not care either, it is the choice of their heart or the level of their humanity. 

At the end of the day we are all mortals and there is a point in a finishing line which is inevitable. It is like the 'The End' at the end of an old movie. It stopped. You may have hated all of it or enjoyed it, or a bit of both, but there is always a point, the last one which finishes a sentence. May be it wil be good or bad, we never know apart that it will happen one day if we want it or not.

I do not consider myself as a pessimist, far from it, nor as a true optimist but more like a realistic individual. Reflecting on my life, although it has not always been easy, I had a pretty good one, a jolly one, a lovely, lively one most of the time. It was humble and hardworking. It was day dreaming and making the day dreams come true. Hardships came along the way, struggling financially and health wise. However you will never take money into your grave and death is always around the corner. So all in all although my body is on its way downward, although my wealth is on its way somwhere which I don't care but let us say alright plus, my main concern is what I will leave behind of my thoughts, my mind, my legacy just as a human being. That is all.

To know that one of my other novels is out there did make the sun shine to my eyes under the stormy grey sky. To know that it was published in GB, France, Germany, USA, Canada, Japan, Australia already, yes, I did have a sense of achievement: my words however correct or uncorrect, were out there. If my tongue can't physically express itself sometimes (Part Epilepsy) my written words can reach many across countries. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3XewsVnx9E